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“But I offer all I am…For the mercy of your plan
Help me be strong…Help me be….Help me…”
-Breath of Heaven, Amy Grant
I love Christmas. I love shopping, the activities, the food, the drinks, the presents, the laughing, the parades, my birthday (three days after Christmas). Most of all I LOVE CHRISTMAS MUSIC! November 1st hits and my car is in full Christmas mode listening to my holiday favorites Spotify list (for which I have included the link below!). You’ll see from my playlist that my love expands from I Want a Hippotamus for Christmas to How Great Thou Art (technically not a Christmas song but this version by Jennifer Hudson and Pentatonix will have you so grateful) to Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays by NSYNC.
However, my favorite Christmas song is Breath of Heaven by Amy Grant. I was told many years ago that having a child was going to be nearly impossible for me. I lived a life that was reckless, selfish and dangerous. From the moment I found out I was pregnant, however, my life completely changed. Suddenly I had a purpose. I had no idea what the plan was but I knew the path of my life had drastically changed. After I had my daughter, I quickly realized I was going to be a single mom and despite having the most amazing support system ever, I was diagnosed with Postpartum Depression and Anxiety and spent the first year being a mom in a haze of self-doubt, anxiety, depression, and loneliness even though I was surrounded by people who loved me. I constantly questioned myself and every decision I made. At this time, I did not have a strong sense of faith. It was probably smaller than a mustard seed. But as we all know, God can do great things with even just a hint of faith.
That first Christmas I heard the lyrics of Breath of Heaven sing directly into my heart. I pulled over and sobbed. I knew exactly how Mary felt! Why me? I wasn’t worthy! The load I carried was HEAVY! So many of those early days seemed so dark and scary. As I listened to Amy’s voice give life to Mary’s worries and doubts, I realized that there have been billions of mothers who have felt the same way as I did. But God was right there beside me, holding my hand, walking beside me, and was able to shoulder the burdens I felt. It was not an overnight change, but that song stuck with me and was played many times (even in August).
Hey God,
Thank you so much for your amazing grace. Thank you for always being there with outstretched hands, open arms and strong shoulders that can help carry the loads we bear.
We love you and are so grateful. Amen!
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