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Don't Be Tricked Today. This Newsletter Will Make You the Smartest Person in the Room -- Or the Zoom. No Fooling.
By J.C. Bruce
Journalist and Author of The Strange Files Series
Welcome to the first day of the fourth month of the year. How do you guard against the inevitable April Fools jokes?
Trust no one.
That box of doughnuts your co-worker dropped off in the break room? Probably filled with okra.
Computer mouse not working? Some prankster may have taped the bottom.
Feeling sticky after stepping out of the shower? Check the shower head. It may be filled with Jolly Ranchers. (Yeah, some very popular April Fools pranks can be downright disgusting.)
How did all this juvenile nonsense start? The History Channel offers this explanation:
In 1582, France switched from the Julian calendar to the Gregorian calendar, which we use today. In the Julian Calendar, the new year began with the spring equinox around April 1, while in the new calendar the year starts on January 1.
Some people didn't get the memo and continued to celebrate the new year on April 1. They became the butt of jokes and were called “April fools.” Pranks included having paper fish placed on their backs and being referred to as poisson d’avril (April fish), symbolizing a young, easily caught minnows and a gullible person.
If that sounds fishy to you, you're not alone. There are numerous other theories and the truth is probably lost to history. So make up your own story, if you like. After all, it's April Fools' Day.
| April Conversation Starters: | April 4 is Hug a Newsperson Day. That's right, even reporters need love. And, despite what some delusional politicians might say, we are not Enemies of the People. So, I am available all day for hugging. You'll find me on the corner of Walk and Don't Walk. Drop By. And by the way, April 18 is Newspaper Columnist Day, too. | Follow Iowa Hawkeye guard Caitlin Clark as she faces off against LSU's Angel Reece in the Elite 8 round of the women's NCAA basketball championships. Clark is the all-time leading scorer in women's college history. The Iowa/LSU game (tonight on ESPN, 7 p.m. EDT) is a rematch of 2023's championship game won by LSU. As March Madness continues into April, the women's final four will be broadcast on ESPN from Cleveland on Friday, April 5 with the final game on April 7. The men's final four will be played on Saturday, April 6 in Phoenix. The championship game will be April 8. |  | In addition to being in the pathway of the total eclipse, Austin, TX, will host the annual CMT Music Awards live on Sunday April 7 (CBS, 8 p.m. EDT). The format for the show is unique. The top six nominees for Video of the Year, the top award, will be announced on April 1. On the day of the broadcast, that list will be narrowed to three. And final voting will determine the winner via social media during the show. Here's a complete list of nominees in all categories. |  | Speaking of the total eclipse of the Sun, it finally arrives on April 8. The so-called "path of totality" is fairly narrow, but, weather permitting, it should be an extraordinary sight with the Moon blotting out all but the corona of the Sun. Speaking of sight, DO NOT look at the Sun without special optical filters. And DO NOT aim your camera at the Sun without filters, either. Don't worry, though. With all the hoopla leading up to this event, there will be no shortage of pictures. Probably including some from all those country music stars hanging around in Austin. |  |  | April 15 is Tax Day. That's the deadline for most Americans to file their annual state and federal income tax returns. If it has slipped your mind, you can request an extension. The deadline for that is also April 15. Strange Fact: The U.S. tax code is so complex it is 4 million words long. That's more than four times as many words as all of William Shakespeare's works combined (and about eight times as many words as all six of my Strange Files novels combined.) | April 15 is also the scheduled start date for the first of four criminal trials facing former president and Bible salesman Donald Trump. This is the Manhattan hush money prosecution where Trump is accused of laundering cash to pay off porn star Stormy Daniels. Assuming it, like so many other trial dates, is not delayed. | |
Mark Your Calendar
You'll want to make note of these events, too.
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April is National Frog Month. Fun Fact: All toads are frogs, but not all frogs are toads. This cutie, from the cover of my novel Mister Manners, is a Cane Toad -- also known as a Bufo toad -- and she plays a pivotal role in the story as a point-of-view character. If you meet one in the wild, don't pet them. They're toxic.
April is also National Humor Month, Global Astronomy Month, Poetry Month, and International Guitar Month among others.
The First week of the month is also Library Week. Hats off to all the brave librarians facing down the book banners and defending freedom of expression.
Earth Day is April 22. This is the 54th anniversary of the first Earth Day in 1970 and this year's theme is Planet vs. Plastic. Wondering what you might do? Here's a link to the Earth Day 2024 Action Kit.
April 22 also marks the start of Passover, the eight-day-long Jewish holiday that commemorates the storied emancipation of the Israelites from slavery in ancient Egypt.
It used to be called Secretary's Day. Now it's known as Administrative Professionals Day. It's celebrated on April 24. If you are fortunate enough to have an admin, this would be a good day to take them to lunch. Better yet, how about a bonus or a day off?
Take Your Daughters and Sons to Work Day is April 25. One of my favorite days of the year back when I was still editing newspapers. It started out as Take Your Daughter to Work Day then, like Secretary's Day, it was expanded and renamed.
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More April Dates to Note
April 1 -- Atheist Day
April 2 -- National Ferret Day
April 3 -- World Party Day
April 4 -- World Rat Day
April 5 -- National Dandelion Day
April 6 -- Pillow Fight Day
April 7 -- International Beaver Day
April 8 -- Draw a Picture of a Bird Day
April 9 -- Be Kind to Lawyers Day
April 10 -- Safety Pin Day
April 11 -- Louie Louie Day (Celebrating "the greatest dance song of all time".)
April 12 -- International Day of Human Space Flight
April 13 -- Scrabble Day
April 14 -- Reach as High as You Can Day
April 15 -- Boston Marathon and Patriot's Day
April 16 -- National Librarian Day
April 17 -- National Cheeseball Day
April 18 -- Juggler's Day
April 19 -- Garlic Day
April 20 -- 420 Day (a.k.a. Cannabis Day).
April 21 -- Kindergarten Day
April 22 -- Jelly Bean Day
April 23 -- English Muffin Day
April 24 -- Pigs in a Blanket Day
April 25 -- World Penguin Day
April 26 -- Pretzel Day
April 27 -- Independent Bookstore Day
April 28 -- International Astronomy Day
April 29 -- National Zipper Day
April 30 -- National Accuracy in Newsletters Day
| | Impress Your Friends With Your Superpower Knowledge of this Odd Trivia | |
Ketchup was invented in China. It started out as a fermented fish sauce used to flavor dishes then morphed over time.
Dogs can be allergic to humans. Our canine pals can have an unpleasant reaction to skin cells released into the air. It's called "human dander allergy."
In ancient Egypt, the wealthy slept on stone pillows. Also wood, ceramic and metal. So, the words "Egyptian" and "cotton" are well known to go together, but they rested their heads on rocks? Go figure.
Humans have been performing dentistry since 7000 B.C., making it one of the world's oldest professions, which makes it all the more strange it hasn't made its way to England yet.
Roses are red. So are apples and raspberries. Coincidence? Maybe not. Along with peaches, apples and raspberries are members of the rose family.
President John Quincy Adams had a pet alligator that he kept in a White House bathtub. It was a present from a French general.
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What would happen if you merged Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell's DNA with a tardigrade, nobody ever asked.
But I did.
I was inspired by a science blog about researchers who are mixing human and tardigrade cells, the idea of which, on paper anyway, is to see if we can make tougher people for spaceflight. Tardigrades -- that cuddly looking creature above -- are microscopic organisms that are famously robust. You can throw them into the vacuum of space or bury them in Antarctic ice and they will do just fine.
Do scientists really think they can merge tardigrades with humans? Probably not. But they got some grant money, and it was a slow day in the lab, or something.
Anyway, that got me thinking. What would a merged tardigrade and human look like? So I thought of the ugliest person I could conceive of in the spur of the moment and downloaded a headshot. Then I downloaded a tardigrade image (the one above). And I went online to a free AI image generator and told it to merge the two.
Here's the result:
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I was hoping for a tardigrade with a Mitch face, not a tardigrade swallowing Mitch. But every time I asked for that it generated a turtle.
But, seriously, there is interesting and, perhaps, useful science here. If we could figure out how tardigrades survive, maybe there are things we can learn on how to make spaceflight less dangerous. Or not.
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Dear J.C.
In your last newsletter, you mentioned you were doing a book signing in Pensacola at the inaugural Books by the Bay festival. How'd that go?
C. Cussler
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I posted live on Facebook from the festival that my books were flying off the table. My old high school pal Dave Bishop guessed I must have meant that literally, and he was right. Gale force winds all morning and afternoon. Spent a lot of time just trying to keep books from blowing away. But it was a fun event, met a lot of readers, and even signed up about a dozen new subscribers to this newsletter, who are getting this for the first time. So, welcome!
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Dear J.C.
There's a rumor that your latest book, Strange Timing, has just won a big award. Any truth to that?
Alfred N.
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Yes! I'm pleased to share that Strange Timing, the sixth novel in The Strange Files series, has just received a Bronze Medal in the Florida Book Awards, an annual literary competition coordinated by Florida State University Libraries. Copies of the book will now grace the Governor's Mansion Library and will be placed in the FSU permanent collection of Florida Book Award winners. Very honored to be included.
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Dear J.C.
Is April 30 really Accuracy in Newsletters Day? I never heard of that before and was surprised to see it listed earlier in the newsletter.
A. Funt
Ha! You caught me. April Fools!!! It's actually National Bugs Bunny Day. Speaking of bunnies, don't miss the Parting Shot feature below. It's hilarious.
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I hope you enjoyed this edition of my free monthly newsletter. Share all your newfound knowledge with your friends. They will think you are amazing. And feel free to forward this email to everyone on your contacts list -- friends, enemies, Zombies, whatever. | |
J.C. Bruce is the author of The Strange Files series of mysterious novels (available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, other online booksellers, and at selected libraries). He also writes this free monthly newsletter. He holds dual citizenship in the United States of America and Florida. | | | | |
