Previous monthly newsletters have emphasized the importance of friendship and hospitality toward persons struggling with unwanted and disturbing sexual patterns. In a recent conversation with pastoral staff and fellow church members the discussion centered on ‘patience.’ A humble posture of ‘journeying with’ a struggling individual was followed by many helpful thoughts. One idea mentioned is that we cannot impose a timeline for healing or change for persons who struggle. In a past issue of this newsletter, a parent story of deliberately practicing genuine warmth and hospitality toward both daughter and her partner which went on for 8 years after the daughter had declared herself ‘married’ to her female partner. After 8 years of practicing gentle hospitality, never buying into the ‘marriage’ myth, the lesbian pair broke off the relationship and the family now has grandchildren from a happily married daughter.
We were also reminded that the source of these challenges is not, first of all, the sexual patterns felt or practiced today. Past trauma is so connected to current pain, frustration and desperate search for ‘community.’ Almost always, from childhood on, the sense of isolation, loneliness, neglect, and no belonging has developed.
Social, worship, and family settings - determined to practice hospitality - cannot impose time frames for change. We humans are not the ones who will save folks from doubts, pain and trauma. We are called to journey alongside while practicing humility. We are not in charge of setting artificial time frames. We are not ‘changing’ anyone, that’s a Divine task. Only God saves, He heals, and His timing is perfect – though not always appearing satisfactory to us, His human servants.
We at the Alliance are open to hearing from our readers about the practice of hospitality and being fellow ‘journey persons’ with those who struggle. The Alliance will be sponsoring one day ‘community partner’ workshops this year. Northwest Iowa faith communities will host a workshop for community partners on May 28, 2024, another is planned for Idaho in August (date to be determined) and another in St. Paul MN on September 21, 2024. More detail to come in future communications.
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