Guest Spotlight
Holly Hartley
"I was first diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of thyroid cancer in England in November 2022. 'Shocked' doesn’t even come close to how I felt. I was 46 at the time, with a beautiful family, career, and a whole world of opportunities at my feet. I often feel that the portrayal of cancer in wider society is terrifying, and upon my diagnosis, I felt the walls closing in. After all, I knew nothing about cancer and my brain throbbed with fear and negativity.
Over the course of the next year, I learned that my cancer had spread to my lungs. By this stage, I was starting to find my feet a little and was exploring a wide range of things to support both my physical and emotional health. In September of 2023, I went to Florida on a meditation retreat. While I was there, I became unwell and learned that the cancer had now spread to my brain. While in Florida, I had surgery to remove two brain tumors.
At this point, my family and I made the decision to head to MD Anderson in Houston. Research had told me a great deal about MDA, and in consultation with my incredible oncologist in the UK and medical team in Florida, my sister and I set off on a five-day road trip to get me in front of the experts at MDA. We haven’t looked back since.
Despite everything my family and I have been through, I feel truly blessed. I am now under the care of my oncologist in the UK and my oncologist at MDA. Friends, family, and incredible strangers crowdfunded to support some of my treatment, and I am continually humbled by the beauty and generosity of people.
Ballard House was first suggested to me by my Social Worker at MDA. At first, I wasn’t sure how I felt. If I’m being honest, I was afraid to become a part of the 'cancer community', and I have deliberately worked hard to not allow cancer to become a part of my identity. It’s just part of my story. I’m embarrassed to write this, but I was scared that accepting help from somewhere like Ballard House would make me feel worse somehow. Well, I don’t think I have been more wrong about anything in my life!
Words cannot do justice to Ballard House, and my meager vocabulary cannot accurately convey how truly remarkable it is. From the start, I was totally taken aback by the tidal wave of love I felt as I walked in through the front door. My 'friends' at Ballard are a remarkable bunch of people. Some work there, others are volunteers, many are patients and loved ones, but they all share the same spirit and heart to come together to spread light in one of the darkest hours.
I always arrive at Ballard House with a grin on my face and am greeted by hugs, cheerful cries, and the smell of delicious home-cooked food. As I sit undisturbed in the beautiful garden, meditating or marveling at how wonderful life can be, I open my eyes to find a cup of coffee or a freshly baked cake. Honestly, it is my 'home away from home'.
My spiritual development is deeply personal to me, and I have been wonderfully supported by the pastor and the Ballard House Gang in general in exploring this further. I won’t lie. Having cancer is no picnic. In civilian life, I have found that some people don’t know what to say or how to respond when I’m feeling blue. Well, at Ballard, there is always someone to lean on who understands. I’m quite strong overall, but every now and then I unravel - gloriously! I have lost count of the number of times I have been scooped up by loving arms, wise words, and practical expertise (you know who you are!) and I cannot thank these beautiful souls enough for what they continue to do for me.
Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined what life had in store for me. I have always been fiercely independent and have often struggled to accept help. As a human being, Ballard House continues to teach me a great deal about myself and life in general; I lie back and accept its ministry willingly and lovingly."
-Holly
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