February 2024

Answering the Question:

“What Can I Do?”

Hello Friends,

Welcome to 2024!

Palma and I founded Civity in 2013 out of our realization that relationships between people are foundational to the well-being of our communities and the health of our democracy. How we are with each other matters.

Since then, more and more people have been coming to us with the question: “What can I do an as individual to make my community – to make my country – a better place?”

And the Civity response has been consistent: “Build relationships – especially relationships across difference!”

This newsletter begins by highlighting some hows of relationship-building. Palma’s article Walking the Civity Walk brings our attention to small actions we all can take to make people feel heard and seen. And in our most recent ThisIsCivity! podcast, David Brooks shares some of his stories about getting to know people better – and why he has undertaken this journey.

The relationship-building response to the “What can I do?” question is infused in everything we do at Civity. Lucy’s article describes integrating civity relationality into climate change work, and how our partner organizations experienced the value of civity!

We have many fellow travelers on this journey, and their responses to the “What can I do?” question continually inspire us. We’d like to express special appreciation (see below) to Larry Kramer, departing president of the Hewlett Foundation, who has been a stalwart supporter of Civity as we’ve taken root and grown.

Warmly,

Malka

Walking the Civity Walk

By Palma Joy Strand

I find everyday brushes of civity – feather-light touches that connect one stranger to another with an “I see you!” signal – hard to reconcile with the prevailing stories about intractable tribalism, innate us-versus-them group dynamics, and inevitably growing distrust. You know the stories I’m talking about…

What I see every day tells a different kind of story.

In this story – let’s call it the civity story – millions of people cooperate in billions of different ways every minute of every day.

David Brooks on Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

In this episode, we talk with David Brooks, New York Times columnist and author of How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen.

We explore David’s journey to find ways to know other people better and learn how to share his own stories and experiences as part of the knowing process.

David shares the lessons and strategies he’s learned to cultivate relationships, big and small, as a way to weave community.

Listen!

Civity Collaborations:

Climate Change Policy

By Lucy Hancock

In today's world, collaboration is more critical than ever. At Civity, we recognize the value of partnering with organizations that are actively engaging people in important conversations. A relational civity foundation provides a huge boost to their work.

This past year, one of our focus areas was conversations about climate change. Many organizations in various parts of the country are bringing people together to talk through their experiences, emotions, and actions; and we were able to contribute by bringing a civity mindset and skills to those conversations.

A Call to Courage

Civity partner Michelle Carr of Leadership Rhode Island calls on leaders to unleash the power – and opportunity – of human connection, in her piece for Providence Business News.

Michelle also leads the National Leadership Network (NLN), which brings together the 700,000+ alumni of the more than 800 leadership programs in communities across the U.S. Stay tuned for future info about an exciting partnership between NLN and Civity, kicking off at the Association of Leadership Programs (ALP) national conference this summer!

From the article:

A courageous, authentic and human-centered approach to leadership is needed as we bear witness to the emergence of new technologies and their impact on our workplaces and communities. Leaders who dare to slow down, embrace vulnerability and prioritize human connections are uncovering a wellspring of opportunity.

• Consider the power of vulnerability.

• Prioritize relationships over checklists.

• Create a new world of work.

More Civity Podcasts!

PODCAST: Alexandra Hudson on Moving Beyond Politeness to Truly See Each Other

In this episode, we chat with Alexandra Hudson about her new book - The Soul of Civility: Timeless Principles to Heal Society and Ourselves.

Hudson explores the difference between politeness and what Hudson calls civility – and we call CIVITY – truly seeing an OTHER and recognizing their humanity and dignity.

Alexandra is also founder of Civic Renaissance, an online space dedicated to elevating our public discourse.

Listen!

PODCAST: Seth Kaplan on Weaving Community Ties to Build Connections and Heal Nations

In this episode, we talk with Seth Kaplan - Author of Fragile Neighborhoods Repairing American Society One Zip Code at a Time - about the importance of strong neighborhood and community relationships to the health of nations. We also discuss how many neighborhoods in the U.S. don’t have strong ties and need structural and systemic help.

Seth is an international expert on fragile states around the world. He consults with organizations such as the World Bank and U.S. State Department.

Listen!

Thank You to Larry Kramer

and the Hewlett Foundation

The theme of this newsletter is “What can I do?” One of the rewards of civity work – and of working with Civity – is meeting the many wonderful people who are responding to that question by doing inspiring work to build relationships and connect people who are different.

We want to take this opportunity to express our appreciation for a special Civity champion: Larry Kramer, the former President of the William and Flora Hewlett Foundation, and for his generous and pivotal support for our work over the past six years.

We asked Larry for some parting thoughts, and here’s what he had to say:

Relationships that connect people who see each other as “different” for whatever reason – race, politics, geography, issues – are key. They’re key for moving forward on all the tough issues we care about, and they’re key for our democracy.

Civity has an approach to building these relational bridges that can scale, and I’m pleased that the Hewlett Foundation has been able to support its work.

Thanks, Larry. And thanks to all of you creating civity out there. What you are doing is how change happens.

How You Can Support Civity's Work

Thank you for supporting and practicing civity! To support Civity’s work with a tax-exempt donation, CLICK HERE to donate online or get instructions for sending a check.

Your donation helps fund our communications and enables us to give free workshops to small nonprofits.

Our work is more important than ever, and we can’t do it without you. Help us reach more people and provide more support to leaders across the country seeking to build civity.

Let’s grow our civity community by reaching out to “others” and bridging across divides. Together, we can create a culture where we ALL belong.

Donate to Civity!