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When the decision to foster animals is made, it brings with it emotions that one never knew could exist. Joe and I have fostered about 20 dogs, each with a unique story. We have foster failed with two of them; an old man named Ted who was so severely abused that it took us nearly a year to be able to touch him without him screaming. How could we ever send him to a new home to start over? Then there is Kimber Bean, most of you know her because of her fancy Santa hat she carries around! She fit in perfectly with our pack, and my 6-year-old grandson threatened to go with Kimber if we sent her to a new home.
We are often asked how we can foster and how we can “give the dogs up,” which is usually followed by “that must be so hard.” It really isn’t as hard as one would imagine. Knowing that we have helped these sweet souls and found them a safe place to land makes it “easy.” We always fall in love with each one of them and we cry when they leave, but we know they are going to their furever safe place. Terry Mixdorf would say “Bobbie is one of the pickiest foster moms when it comes to choosing an adopter for the fosters, but that means the homes she chooses are always a forever home.”
Our two most recent fosters tested every ounce of my strength. I nearly gave up fostering for good because I felt like I failed them both. Charlie was a 10-month-old puppy who was so beautiful and so sweet but was neurological and not thriving the way a puppy should. His breeder/mom loved him tremendously but could not give him the care he needed so she lovingly surrendered him to us. As soon as we brought Charlie in, my Veterinary Technician background told me something was very wrong with this puppy. My suspicions were confirmed by a trip to vet. Charlie was given less than a year to live, and he did not have a good quality of life. Joe and I along with Charlie’s former owner made the difficult decision to euthanize him. A necropsy confirmed a very long list of issues that could have caused Charlie to pass away without warning. We made the right decision, but wow did it hurt.
One week later, we were asked to take in a 9-year-old boy named Willie. Willie came to ABR in Minnesota from a shelter in Missouri. It was a long, stressful 12-hour car ride for Willie and the other dogs that were rescued. We welcomed this beautiful, spunky boy with open arms! When Willie arrived home, we discovered that he did not get along with other dogs, which posed a challenge since we have two dogs of our own. Efforts to keep the dogs separated did not work, so we made the difficult decision to move Willie to a daycare/boarding facility. I felt like such a failure when we dropped Willie off. We saved him from the shelter, only to bring him to a whole new shelter situation. There were many tear-filled phone calls to Terry who so graciously listened and supported me. She reminded me that he was safe and that he was ok.
While Willie was in boarding, we worked tirelessly to find a new foster home that did not have other pets, which proved to be incredibly challenging. After a period of allowing Willie to settle in, the boarding facility continued to work with him to try to slowly introduce him to one dog at a time in a safe space, but Willie was not interested in other dogs and did not enjoy them in his space.
We saw something in Willie and knew he would be a fantastic dog; he just needed a home with no other pets. Willie is a lovable, spunky, fetch-loving boy who deserves a good home. We continued to search for just the right foster home for him. When we finally received the call that a foster home had been found, we were overjoyed; however, when we learned the foster home was in California we cried. How would we ever get this boy to California from Minnesota. While we were willing to drive Willie as far as we could, we knew it would be very stressful for him. ABR reached out to Pilots N Paws for help, and Bill stepped up without hesitation, as he so often does.
The day came for Willie to begin his journey. We picked him up, he climbed onto my lap, and stayed there on the ride to the airstrip. When we arrived at the airstrip to meet Bill, Willie looked at the plane with some hesitation, but got into his kennel and laid down like the good boy he is. Two days later, Willie landed in California and met his new foster family, Beth and Tom Rodabaugh. This amazing couple agreed to take Willie in, get him the vet care he needed, and allow him time to decompress after spending months in a kennel situation. When we say it takes a village, we mean it! Several people made this trip possible and for that we are forever grateful. Willie is thriving in his new foster home and is enjoying being the only pet in the home.
I received a few emails telling me I was not making the right choice for Willie, which absolutely broke me. However, I received so many emails telling me that I did the right thing and so many people helped search for a home for Willie. From Minnesota to Canada, the search was on for a safe place for Willie; that is enough to humble a person. The support I received outweighed the negativity.
I did not give up fostering but have taken a short break to allow my heart to heal. Both of these beautiful boys were brought to us for very different reasons, and we did what we believed to be right and in their best interest. Even with that, the feeling of failing does not go away overnight. At the end of the day helping these dogs brings so much more reward than it does sadness. While our hearts may break a little, the thought of what would happen to them if we did not help is by far worse than any heartbreak we could endure by sending them to a furever home.
If you have been hesitant to foster, please don’t be, it is rewarding, and these dogs are so full of love – they just need their soft place to land, and you could be it!
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