GOLFER ALERT:

At this time the greens at Gleneagles are dangerously fast. A rare confluence of events, including recent winds, sharp mower blades and the staff's loving care has has rendered them virtually unplayable.

We are receiving reports of municipal golfers hitting their first putts well past the cup and off the greens. This is resulting in much higher scores than usual and throwing patrons into panic attacks over their recent scores.

The golf course has tried everything and there is currently nothing to make them slower. We recommend you stay away from Gleneagles GC for the time being or until we update you with an "all clear" message. If you should decide to play please know that you have been forewarned: STAY BELOW THE CUP.