Pastors' Wives and Friendship
by our Chicago GLD PW Michelle Sincock
We were near the monkey bars at the local playground, and I plainly asked Sarah, "Do you want to be my friend?" "Sure!" was her response. We were close for a year or two until she sadly moved away to Baltimore after 3rd grade.
Wouldn't it be nice if all friendships formed (and ended) that easily? As an adult, it can be difficult to form friendships, especially as a pastor's wife. There is a myriad of reasons why true friends are such rare jewels. But here are a few points about friendship (here the focus will be within the body of believers) that have challenged me as of late:
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Focus on Jesus first. The more we focus on the basics of deepening our friendship with Jesus—who is and always will be our faithful friend—the easier it will be to be a faithful friend to others. Rachel Jankovic says, "Obey Jesus. Walk with Jesus. The more you focus on [the] absolute basics of your faith, the more friendship and all those associated tangles will sort themselves out."[1]
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Take the initiative. It often seems easier to not put yourself out there—again—and risk getting hurt. But we need other people to function well. Coming out of the pandemic, many have struggled to regain meaningful, face-to-face relationships. Ask God for a couple of friends who will journey this life with you as we all walk toward holiness and eternity together.
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Evaluate what kind of friend you are. Am I regularly encouraging my friends? Am I lovingly warning a friend who is sinning? Am I generous? Am I kind and considerate? Am I pointing them to Christ and the gospel? Am I asking open-ended questions that invite them to share their hearts? Basically... am I loving my friends well?
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Thank God for your friends. Friendships are gifts of grace. Dietrich Bonhoeffer says in Life Together: "It is grace, nothing but grace, that we are allowed to live in community with Christian brethren."[2] God has given me the recent gift of two other GLD pastors' wives who meet monthly over zoom for support and prayer. If you are interested in being a part of a PW group, please contact Jan Thompson (info below).
Scripture on friendship to pray as pastors’ wives
- "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you." (John 15:12–15)
- "Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace." (1 Peter 4:8–10)
