Emotional Intelligence is our Fall (September-November) theme from chapters 7–8 of Resilient Ministry.
Each of us has likely been guilty of people-pleasing, faking emotion, not prioritizing reflection, and/or avoiding conflict, which all hinder growth in our emotional intelligence (EQ). The authors of Resilient Ministry define EQ as “the ability to proactively manage your own emotions (EQ-self) and to appropriately respond to the emotions of others (EQ-others)” (103).
Maturing our EQ takes time and hard work—but learning to recognize and manage our own emotions, listen well, and express empathy—is worth the effort. It preserves relationships and unity within the church, and it encourages others to grow as well. We can develop our EQ skills by prioritizing three areas: prayer and worship, exercise, and reflection (slow down to feel, journal, accurately identify emotions, explore family genograms, differentiate to connect with people, and receive feedback from others).
Confidently pray, asking to become more like Jesus, who has a perfect emotional intelligence. Rest in His ability to empathize with our weakness and rely on His strength and wisdom to treat others with the same empathy. “EQ-self grows and develops through a personal understanding and application of the grace and mercy of the gospel, so that EQ-others can be extended to others in Jesus’ name” (128).
Scriptures to pray for each other from ESV:
- James 1:5—“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”
- Psalm 107:43—“Whoever is wise, let him attend to these things; let them consider the steadfast love of the Lord.” [All of Psalm 107 would be helpful to meditate on when we need to refocus and put situations/relationships in perspective.]
- Hebrews 4:15–16—“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
