My Dad was career military. He was a good man. He didn't have a father and did the best that he could. I learned to use fear, intimidation and lecturing to try to control my son's behavior. I nearly destroyed our relationship. What I wanted most was for my son to respect me and for us to be close. But I sabotaged it--I threw my own tantrums, blamed others and manipulated out of pity ("You guys would be better off without me."). Until I finally learned how to grow up and be a man. I'm not much into sending platitudes once a year. This is far too important. I do hope the following encourages and challenges Dads everywhere. Please feel free to forward this.
10 Things Kids Want Their Dads to Know
1. I want you to know you are irreplaceable. No matter how much I may push you away sometimes, no one can take your place, ever. I'll have several teachers, bosses, dates, aunts and uncles, friends. I get one Dad.
2. I know you work hard for us at your job, and I'm thankful, I am. But what I care about most isn't what you do at the office; it's what you do at home.
3. I love when you ask me questions about things I'm interested in, even though I know it's not your thing or interesting to you. Do you know how good it feels when you put down your Blackberry and turn off the TV, and just give me all of your attention? I feel important to you.
4. When you treat Mom kindly and gently, it shows me what kind of man I should look for one day. It shows me how I should treat my future wife. When you and Mom act like grown-ups with each other, it makes me feel safe.
5. Dad, I know you love me. What I need most is to know you like me, really like who I am...and that you are proud of me for something. I need to know that you see good things inside me and you believe in me. Because I'm really scared about my future, Dad. I need to know you're on my side.
6. I WANT to be able to ask you questions because you are smart (and so old, just kidding!)...but you just lecture, overreact or get on me. I never know what to expect. And it never feels like it's good enough for you. I need to be able to count on you so I can share my biggest problems with YOU, not with my teenage friends.
7. With your words, you can destroy my confidence and make me feel two inches tall...or make me feel confident about myself and my future. You have more power than you think you do, Dad. No one else's words mean as much as yours.
8. I already feel badly enough about myself. I get picked on, school is hard, I'm around negative stuff all day. What I really need is for my Dad to believe in me, to teach me, to show me how to be successful.
9. How you treat me affects how I view God. Is our relationship based only on my behavior and obedience to your demands? Are you ever happy with me? Or is our relationship based on how forgiving and kind you are? It makes a difference for my entire life. And it determines how I will treat your grandchildren.
10. When you get upset and lose it, it makes me scared. I want to respect you, Dad, but it's hard when you can't control yourself and your emotions. If the leader of our home can't handle pressure, how can I? What's going to happen to us?
I am glad you are my Dad. Happy Father's Day!
Your son / Your daughter
Note from Kirk: If this resonated with you and you need help becoming that man and father you've always wanted to be, I can help you with very specific, concrete steps. I can either personally mentor you through Calm BootCamp (Click here to see if any of these triggers upset you) or through the CDs below. Everything is on Clearance so fellow frugal fathers like me can appreciate that :)
Take advantage of the Summer Clearance Sale.
Call Brett anytime at 888-506-1871. He can answer any questions you may have.
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Clearance CD Sale until inventory runs out!
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1) Straight Talk for Dads/Stop Defiance & Disrespect:
We'll show you step-by-step how to stop defiance and disrespect. Casey and I recorded a special CD: Straight Talk for Dads to show Dads how to get the respect they want. One of my favorite CDs ever. Good for Moms as well!
Regularly $249
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2) Calm 24/7 CD set Dads and Moms, learn how to be the calm leader your family desperately needs 24/7. Discover step-by-step strategies that can be implemented immediately to handle the most pressing situations in your daily life. Regularly $249
Order Now Online for Only $97
Put the names of the CD sets in the 'Comments' section at the bottom of the order form at check out.
Click here for 2 payments of $75
Please reply to this email or contact Brett with any questions at 888-506-1871. We are easy to work with and love to help families.
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