 Growing up, many of my clients learned that to get love from their parents, or primary caretaker, there is a certain way they had to behave. And they also learned that there were ways that they couldn't behave.
You see, as children, we are dependent on others for our survival. And so we begin to adapt our behavior to get the Love we desire from our parents. Human beings are geniuses at understanding patterns - it's called pattern recognition. As children we see the patterns that, if we follow, get us Love from our parents. And we see the patterns that will never get us Love and approval from our parents.
This type of pattern recognition creates our "model of Love", IE - how we learn to get Love from not only our parents, but also the world. And then we take this model of Love, that many times was decided by us by the time we were 5 or 6, with us into adult life. And what many of my clients have come to understand is that there is still a scared and helpless 5- or 6-year-old version of them that is running the show in all their relationships - both romantically and professionally. Obviously, what we learn from our parents, no matter if the experience was good or bad, has served us to this point. We made it to today and so we learned how to survive, cope and the like.
Many of us were praised when we achieved and followed the rules, and not praised when we acted out, acted too silly or too empowered (aka against our parent's will). Many parents value our security so much that they let financial certainty be the bottom-line as far as what is "good" for us and what isn't. Very few parents actually want us to cultivate our creative or artistic skillset because the dominant belief in the world is that it's very hard to get paid to do that. And while they think they are loving us in that moment, they are actually holding us back from living an authentic life. And because we want Love from our parents as a young child, we obey.
But could it be true that some of the decisions you made as a young child no longer serve you? Is there a part of you that you have been ignoring that wants to come out and play? Is that part of you scared to come out because that part of you believes that your needs won't be met if you show that part? What if your journey today was to show more of that other side of you that has been shut away for so long? What if your needs can and WILL get met as you become more and more yourself? What if an even BETTER life was possible if you did that? Wouldn't that be awesome!?
You see, we learned a model of Love in a different stage of Life. If you tried to wear the same shoes that you wore when you were 6, chances are those shoes wouldn't serve you the way that they did then. So don't you think it's time to upgrade your model of Love and consciously design it? Don't you think it's time to take charge of your life and start living life instead of letting life live you? Aren't you ready to have it awesome!? Aren't you ready to live a self-approved life, instead of being a carbon copy of someone else's desire for you? This is what The Path is about. Learning what stories and patterns you've been running that no longer serve you and consciously create new stories and CHOOSE to live them every day.
So - what new model of Love would you like to decide into today? What new story would you like to live? Let me know:
Love, Mastin # # #
Want to live your life to the fullest? If you're ready for change, serious about investing in yourself and ready to work with a mentor send us an email. The TDL Mentoring program is intense and an investment. Serious inquires only.
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