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Let’s spend a moment picking it apart. This is what is really going on behind the scenes of a fully paid-up member of Overthinkers Anon:
- A driving need for certainty
- A desire to control the future/outcome
- Insecurity
- Distrust of self/others/life
- Inability to commit
- A need for perfection
- Risk aversion
- Fear
Big life changes do need considered thoughts and choosing important new directions does take time. But slip streaming into anxiety and catastrophisng every possible outcome can collapse your world into one of regret.
If you are an academic or a poet in residence this can legitimately be strung out for some time and is totally acceptable behaviour for the dissertation or thought piece that it will produce.
For most of us however it is a halting mechanism, a rather sophisticated styling out of the concept of avoidance. It's procrastination with a PhD.
I may set a client homework and checking in a week later on progress if the response is “I've been reflecting” I know this is a bluffer's excuse dressed as a scholarly side step.
Rarely has overthinking been a great investment.
It is like throwing a stone in a washing machine, pressing fast spin and jamming it so it goes around in perpetuity. Like a hamster in a wheel our thoughts go spinning round, gaining momentum, rarely coming up with a novel solution other than the ones you have initially considered but can't face.
You will lose sleep, opportunities and life passes you by as you strike your best Rodin's The Thinker pose, scratch imaginary goatees and look studiously intense.
But what does it give you?
Well nothing comes of nothing. I tell I lie it will give you confusion, exhaustion, it will double your doubt and eventually lead to despair. What a big price to stay exactly in the same place.
Now I know there is a place for rumination but over thinking is different. It's fear that has had a Botox lift to make it look more pleasant.
It's our way of putting on the brakes and wishing we or life were different without having to do or change anything. You know the answer but don't like or nor what to change anything so “hmmmm interesting” is the response.
Invest in Hope Not Doubt
If you can put your hands up and admit to being part of Overthinking Anon here are a few tips to help you get out of that rut and into life's groove:
- Park all your thoughts and options on a big piece of paper – draw arrows from one thought to another and write out what the real solutions are even if you are scared looking at them.
- Get a download doula. Ask a good friend to sit with you as you allow your thoughts a free fall unload and accept the feedback they offer.
- Ask yourself what is the best that can happen and adjust your mindset to the positive. Stop catastrophising. Get perspective. Take a risk. It makes for a life well lived.
- What will happen if you do nothing? Wind the clock forward and play out that scenario. Now run the same story of you taking the risk – how does that look?
- Understand that being uncomfortable is all part of change and the good stuff lies on the other side of the comfort zone.
- Get a coach.
Start living a life on purpose and meaning by booking that free chat with me now.
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