What the body knows (and the mind often doesn't)
Part 2: Body Resonance (& Dissonance)
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I don’t like the word “body.” Over many years of investigation, I believe this word leads us off track, and yields a false perception of what it means to be human. We speak of “the” body, as one might speak of “the” chair or “the” table. Inanimate, but more importantly, an object removed from our experience. And the body does appear as an object.
When I look at you, you appear as a “thing in space” to me, and I to you. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what looks back at you appears as an object (one you probably hold to some fabricated standards of “correct” appearance). However, we also experience ourselves as an in-bodied subject, as a creator of a stream of experiences unfolding moment by moment. In other words, as alive.
This two-faced nature of our physical form is not reflected well in the term “the body.” When I came across the first chapter of Thomas Hanna’s excellent little book, The Body of Life, he used the Greek word, soma, the intelligent, living, goal-directed body-being that is a person. This word made so much more sense to me than the heavy, inert, word “body” in English, so I’ll use the word soma from here on out in this short article.
In couples therapist’s Stan Tatkin’s latest book, I was delighted to discover, stuffed amongst the pages, that he actually addressed some of the physicality of couples relationships. (I leave it to you to go hunt for these.) There is so much more to the story. As a student of video, my perception has been trained to see the interaction between somas when people relate. So much of what happens between us when we are relating does not reach the conscious mind, but we respond none-the-less.
I’m also a fan of a number of martial artists - masters of soma - and this video shows the intelligence and efficiency of soma. (This part starts at about 10:30 in the clip). The man in blue, a master of Kung Fu, is instructing first students, then a master of Jeet Kune Do, in the black shirt, to respond to an attack, just by using touch, not sight. Probably why Bruce Lee is famous for the saying, “Don’t think, feel.” Soma is faster and more efficient than mind. But, we underestimate both the wisdom and intelligence of soma, especially in relationship.
When we’re having a conversation with someone, there is a cognitive exchange, the words or content being discussed. And there is another exchange: soma with soma - the experience that is created between us out of our interaction. Meaning-making (also important) happens later when the mind re-views experience and tries to predict what will happen next. The experience in the moment, the resonance, the sense of “feeling felt’ by another living soma, of being “in synch” is vital to our well-being. Yet surprisingly, this is increasingly harder to come by in our modern world.
Why is this? We don’t prize the somatic basis of life in Western culture. We don’t spend as much of our time in cohesive, aligned groups. We live some distance from nature in human-build environments, and we privilege the mental. We overlook our fundamental need for soma with soma resonance. As relentlessly social creatures deeply woven into the fabric of life, our nervous systems are designed for somatic resonance. We crave the physical connection and comfort of another’s touch. James Coen’s earlier research showed that even the touch of a stranger’s hand can reduce our discomfort in a stressful situation, let alone the touch of a loving companion.
A student of mine once told me of a time when she had lost someone dear to her family. Friends of the family just came and sat with them. Resonating and sharing the burden of grief so that my student and her family could bear their loss. We don’t even have to touch to resonate, to accompany one another in this life. Pets and nature can also provide us with a felt-sense of resonance. People who leave their home country, perhaps for a new job opportunity, are surprised when three weeks into their new adventure, they are suddenly homesick. Soma misses the sounds, smells, tastes, even the texture of the air, the rhythm of the voices, of home. What the mind can easily do, soma cannot. These experiences - mind and soma - are not interchangeable. Are you attending to the needs of your soma, your social soma? Do you take a moment to appreciate those who are with you in the flesh so to speak?
Join me for the free webinar on April 23rd (noon, Pacific, see registration below) to discuss this and more about soma, including the phenomenon of body blindness that interferes with resonance. If you’d like a deeper dive into the wisdom of soma in relationship, join me for the up coming Master Class on May 16th.
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Free Webinar: What the body knows (and the mind often doesn't) |
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In this free webinar, I'll share what I've learned about listening to the stories the body tells, and how to tap into this in your work with clients and yourself. Please join me!
Tuesday, April 23rd
12:00 - 12:45 PM Pacific time zone
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"Bodies in Space": Reading pattern & knowing when & how to intervene with confidence.
Floorwork: Working with reps, pattern, creating a safe & meaningful workshop space!
Next Master Class in Constellation Facilitation starts May 16th
Early Registration Discount Ends
Master Class 2 - Live! In person near Portland, Oregon
The Art of Collaborative Change: Floorwork
May 16-19, 2024
The magic of constellations has to come through our very human bodies: when we ask the client to "follow their felt sense" in setting up a constellation, when we ask a representative how they feel in a particular place, when we tune into our own felt sense and intuition. All of these require a living embodied human to bring forth the information we are seeking.
In this master class we focus on:
- enhancing and increasing your systemic perception (I mean this literally)
- reading patterns in the placement of reps (or objects) on the floor
- mastering the healing order to support the unfolding of a constellation,
- using the client's body as a resource to pace the constellation
- moving with the rhythm of a constellation (yeah, constellations got rhythm!)
- working with challenging reps, and more!
We begin on Thursday afternoon and work through Sunday morning. Join a like-minded group of peers in honing the instrument of self and evolving yourself and your practice to a new level.
Experimental Workshop 2 - in Person, near Portland, Oregon
Power & Group Dynamics from a Constellation Perspective
May 20, 2024
For those who can stay for the Monday workshop, we'll delve into power dynamics in close relationships, including work relationships. This topic is often ignored, yet there are several different kinds of power that are exercised in close relationships. These have considerable impact on our health and well-being. We'll explore what are healthy power dynamics, unhealthy patterns, and what to do if you find yourself stuck in one such pattern.
You can sign up for the workshop independently of the Master Class. Join us!
Use the DISCOUNT CODE 2024_MASTERCLASS and save 10% on your registration.
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Join the Master Class for a morning or afternoon as a representative
This is a great way to learn more about constellation work and participate in part of the training. You'll get to hang out with like minded people, and receive the teaching for that segment of the course. This also supports the learning of the Master Class participants. To sweeten the deal, use the DISCOUNT CODE: U_REPRESENT when registering and save 20%.
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Making choices - it's tough to choose!
It's that time of year when life quickens in the Northern hemisphere, and we have to shape the new growth that emerges. That means prioritizing!
What stays, what goes, what is needed for the future that we want? Many of our problems arise because we don't really know what we want or need, nor do we know how to prioritize so that we create the future we desire.
Give yourself the gift of healing and growth to shape the future you want. Whether it's a personal challenge, a work situation, or a relationship issue, Jane will work closely with you to find your strengths and facilitate your way forward. Her compassionate and collaborative approach has helped many individuals and couples to realize their potential and achieve a more fulfilling life.
Take the first step towards a happier and healthier life by booking a session with Jane today and save ten percent! Use the coupon code USAVE10 when you sign up for a session. (Coupon good through 5/31/24, for discount on one session).
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It's a bird, it's a plane, no, it's a Systemic Constellation Workshop!
Join us April 21st
When we're all looking one direction, we can't see each other. Some families (and work teams) are like this, and communication and closeness suffers even though we are "close." We see this effect on the floor in the positioning of representatives during a family constellation. We can't reconcile unless we can (literally) face one another.
If this (or other patterns of disconnection) feels like your family, then a constellation can help make visible the twisted roots, untangle the knot, and strengthen your grasp on your own life. Bring your interest in systemic constellation work and, if you wish, your issue. Join us Sunday, April 21st at the farm for this one-day workshop.
Sunday, April. 21
10 am to 5:00 pm (depending on number of cases) in our Red Barn in Aurora, Oregon.
Register now to either BRING MY ISSUE (to work with Jane) - We're FULLY BOOKED for this weekend, or
Save the date
Next workshop: June 23rd. Watch this newsletter for registration links.
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Farm News
A teaser about teas
Our little farm store is open and we have new herbal teas, naturally grown without pesticides on our small farm. These are formulas we use for our own needs and we are delighted to share them with you.
Here are the teas we have available:
Stress Ease (6 jumbo teabags) - tea bags for the pot to share with a friend or make ahead for yourself for a stressful day.
Sleep Ease (6 jumbo teabags) - make ahead and keep in the fridge for those difficult nights.
Calm Ease (10 regular teabags) - my favorite sweet cup of tea to curl up with when I need a break.
Lavendar Mint (10 regular teabags) - a tasty and relaxing cup of comfort.
Tonifying Tea (10 regular teabags) - good for building overall strength & detoxing.
Cold Ease (10 regular teabags) - nip a cold in the bud with this and a dose of our super-potent Elderberry tincture.
In addition we have our amazing, nourishing Skin Elixir - I use this myself and it's easily absorbed into the skin. We call it, "skin food." And our potent Elderberry tincture. More tinctures in process. Stay tuned!
We also have sets of six herbal sachets made of lavendar (floral), Roman chamomile (woodsy, citrus), and Pennyroyal (fresh, minty). Good for discouraging insects in your closet and freshening up a room.
Each item is $10. You can order by emailing us here. All newsletter orders save 10% through April. Shipping & handling not included.
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Human Systems Institute, Inc. | 503-678-2338 | Our email
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